What a day it’s been….. after writing my first blog last night, completing the first draft of the website and publishing it I thought I’d set up some social media pages.
Good idea right? No Niketa, no it wasn’t.
My plan for The Mental Mummy was to be anonymous at first. Being out there as me just fills me with anxiety and realistically who wants to be judged? Especially when you already are.
Well this twat here only went and uploaded the whole thing to her personal Facebook page by mistake! I clicked share and went to bed.
Do not post on social media when tired. Mistakes will be made!
I woke up this morning with more notifications on my phone then usual (I’m not that popular). Then….that complete an utter dreaded feeling of ‘SHIT!’ what have I done.
Now for most people it might not be a big deal. For someone like me it really is. It’s been going round and round in my head all day. Re reading everything I wrote, re checking notifications to see who I know has actually looked at it, read it. What are they going to think? Why did I even start this? Am I even ready to put myself out there like this? Are people going to take the piss? Does anyone even bloody care?
My anxiety is through the roof at the moment anyway because I’m genuinely not very well with my mental health right now. But, I have to remember this is exactly why I started this. Even if nobody is reading, even if nobody cares…. I do. I’m going through the motions at the moment. I don’t know when but I will come out of the other side. I have to…. I have no choice.
So I guess in a way I’m using this as some form of therapy. Even if you don’t have mental health problems everyone needs some form of outlet and this is going to be mine.
Even though anxiety is a bitch! Telling you all your deepest fears are going to happen I’m trying to keep a logical head on my shoulders and remember why I wanted to do this. If I could reach just one person…. Help one person….. be there for one person then I will have achieved what I set out to do.
Motherhood is bloody lonely at times and so is having mental health problems. I’ve felt alone for a very big part of my life and if anyone else is feeling alone I want you to know your not. I am here. I may be one person but believe be sometimes all you need is 1 person.
The Mental Mummy 
Thanks so much for sharing your story on here. My blog is mostly anonymous as well. I got too nervous to share with my friends/family. I’ve shared with one or two close friends and immediate family but that is it!
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Hi lovely. Thanks so much for your comment it really means a lot to me.
I felt exactly the same as you, then after I accidentally shared it I thought….. you know what I have nothing to be ashamed of.
When your ready you’ll share you story without limits. 💖
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